Let me be Frank, I don’t want the Mets to be fixed. As a Yankee fan, my mouth waters when I see their inevitable annual downfall. Mets fans are the most fun to be friends with, besides maybe Jets fans. Luckily for us, they’re normally one in the same. From the fanbase that brought you 5 Aces, Conforto is going to run New York, “wait til Yo is healthy”, and Harvey Days, we are now in the Steve Cohen will buy everyone era. Mets fans fail to recognize the most obvious fact, the Mets are always going to Met. HOWEVER, there is a solution.
There is only one cure for the New York Mets. And no, giving Javy Baez 200 million dollars isn’t the answer. Bad news is you have to entice someone out of retirement. Good news, you only need one man:
Theo Epstein, the bane of my existence. What is the one bat signal that Theo can’t refuse? A good ol’ fashioned curse. If Mets fans were smart, they’d stop focusing so much on the Yankees and start spreading the narrative that the team is cursed. Get Theo’s juices flowing. If you’re unfamiliar with his work, Epstein was the youngest ever MLB GM at the ripe age of 28. Most notably, he is credited with ending baseball’s two most notorious curses: The Curse Of The Bambino- the Red Sox 86 year World Seires drought, and The Curse Of The Billy Goat- the Cubs 108 year drought.
Now you might be thinking, the Mets aren’t THAT cursed, they won a title a mere 35 years ago. A sad justification, but I see your point. However you cannot deny the Mets have had many cursey like moments. Including but not limited to, the Royals singling them to death in 2015, Bernie Madeoff, Kenny Rogers walking in the winning run for the 1999 NLCS, Bobby Bonilla, Luis Castillo dropping that fly ball vs. the Yankees, poor David Wright, Syndergaard contracting hand, foot, and mouth disease, and my personal favorite, being up seven games on September 12th 2007 only to lose their last twelve of seventeen to miss the postseason.
How relieving would that be to blame all your misfortune on the Baseball Gods? Edwin Diaz, deGrom’s injuries, Lindor’s struggles, not our fault, we’re cursed. Two birds, it’s a peace of mind and laying groundwork for your messiah.
Of course though, since it is the Mets it probably won’t happen. Mets fans are drowning in misery at the moment but Sandy Alderson will make one signing in the off-season and they’ll immediately forget who they are. The fans will continue leading the league in spring parades. Mets will start fast in 2022 but die faster. But hey, look at the bright side, at least you guys got your cool black jerseys back.
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