If you’re a fan that is regularly forced to watch Yankee games on the fly, you might find yourself with the YES App on your phone. It kind of sucks. It signs me out constantly for no reason at all and it gets a bit jumpy. To improve your Yankee experience, our gracious ruling family has awarded us an impossible game for us to never win.
In perfect 2021 Yankee fashion, the organization is making things very difficult for the fans while remaining extremely cheap. If you can guess one player to hit a single, one player to hit a double, one player to hit a triple, one player to hit a home run, the amount of strikeouts the starting pitcher will throw, how many hits the Yankees will record, and how many runs they will score all in the same game, then you will be the proud recipient of a whopping 25k.
It looks like this:
I know, I know, I picked Judge to get a triple. I panicked, first pitch was like three minutes away.
If you’re able to guess all those^^ correctly, you should accept nothing less than a million dollars and a call from Professor X. It might actually be harder than the perfect March Madness bracket and Warren Buffet offers up a cool billion for one of those.
First you have to have a game that has a single, double, triple, and home run. Doesn’t happen every day. Hell, the Yankees only have 7 triples on the entire season. But not only do all those hits have to occur, then you have to predict who will hit them. That alone should guarantee you 25k. But no, exact numbers on Ks/Hits/Runs as well. Nostradamus couldn’t even pull that off.
I’ve been asking my fellow Yankee fans if it was the last game of the season, win and your in scenario. Despite odds and logic, you have everything correct on the App. Yankees are down one, it’s bottom nine, two outs, one man on… are you rooting for a walkoff home run or a strikeout?
All of them said home run. Whaaaatttt? Why? So they can break your heart in another 7 game ALCS? We’re just wiping our asses with 25k now? I know 25k isn’t a lot to the Yankees but I could use a down payment on a house. I know my answer. There’s always next year boys.
This little lottery game is more smoke and mirrors and empty promises from the Yankees. The organization keeps writing checks that they know Hal’s ass won’t have to cash.
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