Monday, August 16, 2021

Ocean City Maryland aka Northeast Carolina


When people from New Jersey or Pennsylvania want to go to Myrtle Beach or OBX but don’t want to drive as far, we go to Ocean City Maryland. It’s a lot cheaper and it still packs a bit of that Jersey Shore scummy punch if you know where to look. It has the sand dunes with hay like grass, swampy boat life, and surrounding small town life of the Carolinas without making you feel like you’ve really left the Northeast. 

If you’re looking to scratch that Pogue itch that Outerbanks left you with, OCMD is your fix. I spent a four days in this beach town this past weekend for a bachelor party. It’s been about 60 hours since my last drink and I’m still trying to shake off the rest of my hangover. 

The Devil works hard, but Seacrets works harder. This crown jewel bar boasts as bar/restaurant/nightclub. It’s massive, for any Jersey folks it’s about 4x the size of Bar A. During the morning and afternoon they have bar tables and floating devices set up for you to drink in the bay. The water was packed with beautiful women who couldn’t wait to tell me that they didn’t want to have sex with me. In my defense, I didn’t look great in a bathing suit and my shirt on next to University Of Virginia’s former soccer team and a couple MLS players I was with. At night the outside is lit up Christmas light style to give it that real authentic beach town vibe. The inside nightclub has the next best band you never heard of. If you’re looking for more of a chill vibe than a bump & grind scene, just keep walking. There’s about five more stages outside with live bands all playing different genres. The Orange Crush seems to be the drink of choice, but set a limit. Or you’ll end up like me vomiting into my hat trying to avoid a $150 Uber service fee.
Seacrets was the best bar, no doubt. But the one that made me feel most like I was in an episode of Outerbanks was Macky’s. It has a sandy tiki setup out back and an inside lined with fish netting walls with wood painted signs and old license plates. It had good music, a good crowd, and good drinks. But it’s all fun and games until a boatful of John B’s pull up. First of all, how does anyone compete with the dudes who show up to the bar in a boat. They all look like 15 year lifeguard veterans. They wear frayed jean shorts, old bait & tackle t shirts, dirty converses, and bandanas around their necks. Somehow all of them can still pull off wearing PacSun hats. These dudes walked in and had pick of the litter. They drove off drunk on their boat at 2:00 am with a bunch of girls they didn’t walk in with. They could have said they were going treasure hunting and everybody in the bar would have believed them. 
I feel like I’m not doing great job selling OCMD, but I really did enjoy it. It was a perfect spot for a long weekend golf trip or bachelor party with the fellas. You might have to shack up in an old run down bungalow with nothing but bunk beds and pull out couches, but that’s part of the charm. There’s good looking bars, better looking people, and more drinks than you can handle. Or at least, than I could handle. 

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