Tuesday, May 21, 2019

Hand Crafted Burgers

Image result for da'shawn hand

If we get in fucking trouble because Da'Shawn Hand said he used to sell burgers in Tuscaloosa for $5 a pop I'll have an aneurysm. Burgers sounded pretty bangin, don't get me wrong. Egg, swiss cheese, Sweet Baby Ray's glaze and seasonings that African-American twitter has repeatedly reminded me I've never tried before. I'd throw a fiver at that. But keep your trap shut DaShawn. 

Now I'm no lawyer so I'm not going to pick apart the  language of the NCAA bylaws but I am aware that student-athletes can't sell their autographs, jerseys, and stuff like that. So does selling burgers fall in that category? Not for me to decide. But it would be fitting for Da'Shawn Hand to upset me even after he's left campus. He's only ever been a disappointment. In four years and thirty-four games with the Tide, the former 5 Star and 6th overall recruit only recorded 71 tackles and 9 sacks. Hand was drafted by the Lions in the fourth round, to live out his days in Detroit and spill all our secrets. 

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