It’s the holiday season and we’re all losing our minds for that perfect gift. Will they like it? Will they get it? Is it too much? Is it too little? Buying gifts is a lot of pressure, but not nearly as much pressure as the other side.
The old adage that it’s better to give gifts to than to receive them is 100% true. But only because you have to open all the gifts you receive.
Christmas and birthdays can be awkward. Women are sociopaths for what they do at baby showers. Weddings are the only events who do it correctly. In tandem, in private, and with the ability to talk shit or praise appropriately.
Given the time of year, I’ll talk Christmas since that’s what I celebrate. Im trying to think and I’m pretty confident that I can say I’ve never received a gift I didn’t like. That being said, there are definitely different categories that demand different reactions. For instance, you’re not going to react the same as opening a pair of jeans as say a PS5.
That lower tier of presents turns you into a sub soap-opera level actor. You have to make a face that shows you appreciate the gift. But it’s not like anyone’s ever been amazed or surprised by a nice shirt. In a store you don’t change facial expressions when you see a shirt you like? You think, “oh that’s a cool shirt,” grab it and leave. But when opening a t-shirt you have to smile and do that weird thing where you unfold it and look at the back of it. Spoiler, the back of a shirt looks exactly like the front except there’s nothing on it. And then what do they guilt you with? “Oh I kept the receipt if you don’t like it.” No I fuckin like it but I’ve never seen a jacket that makes me go “FUCK YES A NEW MOTHERFUCKING JACKET!”
Even if you get a gift you were hoping for it’s rocky terrain to navigate. This is your PS5 or new piece of jewelry or furniture or snowboard or laptop or whatever the fuck you really wanted. You know what the money shot is when you open it. Not since I was maybe seven years old have I jumped up and down in excitement. Outside of smiling and saying thank you or “this is awesome”, what can you do to truly show appreciation? I do that thing where I say they shouldn’t have and that it was too expensive but of course I’m lying. I know it and they know it. I showed interest in wanting something and it was bought for me. Why would I then recant my desire now that I go it?
It’s not that I hate gifts, I just hate myself when I receive them.
If you have to “exchange” gifts with another person the only viable option is to get them a better gift. It’s the only way to assure that you’re not going to feel like a piece of shit. It’s probably why I’m such a good gift giver. But if you’re giving gifts to your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, family member, or friend, the best gift you can give them is privacy to open it.
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