Nick Saban has no idea that it isn’t college football season. Please don’t tell him. Forget mid-season form, the guy looks like he’s ready for playoffs in the spring. He yelled at a reporter the other day for talking about a player’s progress. Saban angrily pointed out to said reporter that he couldn’t possibly know anything about the player’s progress because he hadn’t seen him play yet. Alabama had their spring game, A-Day, today and Saban is already getting upset over trick plays and yelling at five stars to not “walk on the God damn field”.
Coach Nick Saban runs Alabama football with an iron fist, but make no mistake, the Saban household is a matriarchy.
Attending Alabama you understand that there are many different Nick Sabans according to public perception. There’s the Coach Saban that he presents to the world- a good church-going family man, with old school morals and a strict code. Then there’s the Nick Saban that’s perceived- a swag dripping sex icon with raw sex appeal. You’d be amazed at the amount of co-eds walking around on gameday with the winking Saban button pinned to their hearts that read “DADDY SABAN”. I once walked into a graphic conversation at a tailgate amongst sorority girls talking in detail about how they’d “fuck his brains out.” It was unbelievably specific.
Nick Saban could have any woman in the state of Alabama. You think his lovely wife, Miss Terry, loses an ounce of sleep over this? You think Miss Terry is worried about Nick Saban leaving her? Wrong! Nick Saban worries about Miss Terry leaving him!
During his American Football Coach’s Association speech, Coach Saban spoke about the importance of his wife of fifty years. Coach explained he was chasing Miss Terry since the seventh grade and that she wouldn’t give him the time of day. She was the popular pretty girl from the city school. The “Queen Bee,” as he described her. Young Nick Saban was the quiet country boy who was always too dirty from working at his father’s gas station.
Miss Terry was dating a boy named Mickey Schaffer through her teen years. Nick Saban wasn’t even a thought to her. Every time Saban played their school in football he tried his damndest to beat up on those city boys. After years of persistence it eventually caught the eye of none other than the saintly, Miss Terry. The rest was history.
Years and years later, Coach Saban’s hometown was hosting a homecoming game in his honor. Back in their old stomping grounds, Saban decided to take a bit of a victory lap. He found out that ironically enough, it was Mickey Schaffer who now owned a gas station. So he drove his wife by to “let her know how she picked.” This is how it went.
Coach Saban: “See there honey. There’s your boy there, Mickey Schaffer. If you’d have married him, that’s where you’d be now.”
Miss Terry: “Bullshit, if I’d have married him he’d be the head coach at Alabama now.”
Alabama is losing three cornerstone defensive starters in Dylan Moses, Christian Barmore, and Patrick Surtain II. Not to mention 3/5 of their offensive line, the starting tight end, two star receivers, a three year starting running back, and a National Championship winning quarterback. Am I nervous? Of course not, we have Miss Terry’s husband as our head coach.
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