Stoop Kids About To Leave His Stoop

Well we have our first ever official trade in college football. Alabama agrees to send Jalen Hurts to Oklahoma for fired defensive coordinator Mike Stoops. Mike is the younger brother of previous beloved Oklahoma Head Coach, Bob Stoops. Mike probably definitely didn't get the job there because his brother was the coach and he was held in the highest regard by the fan base.

In his tenure as DC in Norman, Mike Stoops had a mediocre defense at best. Given it’s the Big 12 and given the attributes that that conference values he has been just solid enough to get by to this point. Until this year. Stoops’ defense submitted his worst Yards By Opponent Average to date with 453.8 per game. That puts Oklahoma at 105th ranking in the country. Here are Mike’s rankings in Yards By Opponent since he’s been DC. 105th, 60th, 74th, 30th, 44th, 18th, 68th. Somewhat solid, but evidently just enough is not enough. 

So where’s the silver lining here? Who knows. Maybe it’s that he’s only on as an “analyst”. Or maybe it’s that the last time we took on a dwindling career of a highly regarded football family name it was this guy:

And he was recruiting a baby yesterday.

So welcome to the Houndstooth Halfway House Mikey, grab a cigar and pull a chair over by Butch there in the corner. 

The Kingsbury Dough Boi Ripple

Kliff Kingsbury, noted handsome offensive coach, got paid by the Arizona Cardinals to be their next head coach because of this insane football tree he has rooted. Now why, you might ask, did a 39 year old college offensive guru land a head coaching job in the NFL? With no professional experience and a mediocre 35-40 record as a head coach? Great question. 

In 2003 Kliff Kingsbury was the backup to a spry chicken named Tom Brady. Ever heard of him? And if Brady doesn't hurry the hell up and retire theres no telling how many montages of these two we'll be dragged through just trying to watch a damn Cardinals, Patriots game. Now it's been theorized that Kingsbury stole some of Tom's talent a la Space Jam but rather than use it on himself, he played the long con to give bits of it away to the quarterbacks he coaches. Savvy move. 

Since hopping on to the coaching scene here are some of the quarterbacks Kingsbury has had under his wing. Starting in 2012, Johnny Manziel was his first project at A&M where he was OC and quarterbacks coach. Johnny was nothing like we've ever seen at the college level, beating Bama and snatching Heismans. Although, he might've taken his coach's blueprint a little too seriously. Manziel now finds himself in the CFL on the Montreal Alouettes, where, you guessed it, Kliff Kingsbury played in 2007. Kliff went on to coach at his alma mater where he met none other than the eccentric Baker Mayfield. Even though Baker only played 8 games for Kingsbury he went on to Oklahoma where he manhandled the Big 12, won a Heisman, and was drafted number one overall. Sensing a pattern? Put another one in the chamber. Arguably Kingsbury's greatest accomplishment was molding this year's probable NFL MVP Patrick Mahomes. Mahomes is constantly gurgling about Kingsbury's offensive genius and the numbers show. Mahomes played three years at Texas Tech and in his final two years he put up a combined 9,705 yards and 77 touchdowns in 25 games. What does this all mean? That Kingsbury's spread offense continues to impress.
             

Seems like a happy ending I suppose, for Kliff anyway. USC however might say otherwise. Before signing with Arizona, Kingsbury hopped on the Trojan horse in early December as the OC. While he was there for roughly a month's vacation in California, USC penned Bru McCoy the number 1 rated ATH and 27th overall recruit according to ESPN's Top 300. Bru was USC's crowned jewel in an otherwise disappointing recruiting class. The crafty Bru decided to enter the Transfer Portal (which is the coolest mystery in college football) on hearing of Kingsbury's departure which ultimately led to this cryptic tweet from Sam Ehlinger , Texas' QB. Mind you, Texas and USC still don't like each other cause of the whole Vince Young vs Reggie Bush thing. 

Very perceptive, BarstoolSC. Bru McCoy did wind up transferring to Texas to join Sam Ehlinger and my favorite wide receiver name in football, Lil'Jordan Humphrey. Ok, maybe Lil'Jordan declared for the draft but it's still fun to say his name. Not to worry though Trojan fans, USC announced today that they have decided to hire Graham Harrell. Who's Graham Harrell you ask? Oh just Kliff Kingsbury in disguise. Both Kliff and Graham played quarterback for Mike Leach. They both jumpstarted their coaching careers under Dana Holgerson. And according to Bruce Feldman, Harrell as The University of North Texas' Offensive Coordinator led them to back to back top 25 offenses. So relax USC you still got Kliff Kingsbury he just looks a little different. 

Hope Josh Rosen is worth it. 

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Seriously I hope Josh Rosen's worth it I really like him. 

Build a Fence In Hawaii, Just Not The Zuckerberg One

Building walls is all the hype right now. From the White House to Mike Locksley's twitter page:

Coaches love the phrase that they're going to "build a fence" or "build a wall" around the state when they get into a new coaching job. I remember Rutgers whining a few years ago to "Fence in the Garden" after letting tons of talent walk out of this God forsaken state. This was right around the time that Michigan took both #2 recruit Jabrill Peppers and #1 recruit Rashan Gary in their respective recruiting classes from Paramus Catholic in Paramus, NJ. Leaving New Jersey I can understand, but what about the states that don't make any sense to leave? 

Let's take Hawaii for example. In two of the last four years their has been a Heisman Finalist from the Aloha State. One was runner up and the other one took the hardware home. I'm talking of course of Marcus Mariota and Tua Tagovailoa. But the buck doesn't stop there. Manti Te'o was also a Heisman finalist in 2012 for the Irish. Max Unger, 3x Pro-Bowler and Super Bowl Champion, born where? Oh right, Hawaii. DeForest Buckner, 7th Overall pick and PAC-12 Defensive Player of the Year. Ka'imi Fairbairn, led my Fantasy Team to a chip this year by being the number one kicker. David Amerson, First Team All-American, First Team All-ACC. Ok, maybe that last player was just born there and moved to North Carolina but you get the point. Bring that man home!

The cons. All things taken into account there miiight be some reasons they leave, so for argument's sake here they are. Best case scenario they play in Pacific Time and only are two hours behind. Worst case scenario they play on the east coast and are five hours behind. Not to mention they play in the Mountain West Conference which might not be ideal if you're trying to showcase your NFL potential. 

The pros:

                                    

Fences historically don't work out in Hawaii

                                                       

Granted, but think of all the fun we could have. Let's stop saying Aloha (goodbye form) to the talent in Hawaii and start keeping kids in-island. On-island? Whatever, in-house. Keep Heisman finalists drinking Mai Tais and doing that cool Haka thing. Go Rainbow Warriors!

Do you call him daddy?

                                               

I am sick and tired of the narrative of Nick Saban as the hard ass tough guy coach. Recently the comparisons between Saban's "old school approach" and Dabo's religious day camp of a program have people dragging the good name of our patriarch through the mud.
There's a video thats gone southernly viral recently on Saban stressing the importance of individual coaching and the impact of one-on-one relationships in the locker room between coaches and players.

 https://twitter.com/JamesALight/status/1088827182183600129

For those of you too lazy to watch a two minute video Jolly Ol St. Nick goes on to say "They weren't my guys for three years, four years they are my guys forever. Thats the way we all should feel about what we do. Because we have responsibility and obligation to help these guys, they need us. I mean how many guys do you coach that have two parents at home? How many guys do you coach that don't have any parents at home? So, you know, thats us. Thats who we are. That's what we need to take responsibility for and be there."

Now I love my parents to death but if Saban wanted to be my father figure or even say, adopt me, I couldn't sign the dotted line fast enough. That's why guys like Trent Richardson come back to play on the scout team after things didn't work out in the NFL. Compassion. 

Now he also goes on to get a dig on the plethora of coaches who again, decided to use the Alabama program as a coaching rehab to further their own selfish endeavors. Coach Lock OC, Josh Gattis Co-OC, Brent Key OL coach, Tosh Lupoi, and Dan Enos QB coach to name a couple. Saban explained that the difference in this year's team, *cough* who just lost a national title to Clemson *cough*, is that coaches didn't make strides in having personal relationships with the players. Message is pretty clear, if you want to coach here, you have to stay long enough to form a special bond with our guys. Assistants come and assistants go, that's the life we chose as Tide fans. Rest assured though, Nick's making a list and he's checking it twice. 

So there's your friendly reminder not to give into the rat poison that is the media. That Nick Saban every year invites coaches from the state to come and learn at a coaching seminar that he hosts out of the kindness of his heart. That he's the type of coach that hugs even his PUNTER so tight when he graduates (pictured above) that it looks like he never wants to let go. You can tell me he breaks headphones on the side lines, or chews out dudes so hard that it looks like the vein in his head is gunna burst. That he's some angry man that's never satisfied with what he's given, but I'll never see it. Different perspectives I suppose. Deaf people think you're screaming when you yawn.