Meet lizzydoingstuff, a now former lesbian, Tik Tok extraordinaire, and future trophy wife for a mystery NFL head coach. While lounging out on the beach, Lizzy posted this Tik Tok to her profile claiming that an NFL head coach slid into her DMs. Who could it be?
An idiot, for starters. If you’re getting ready to risk it all you have to do a little homework. If you’re going to shoot your shot you have to at least give yourself a chance? You watch tape for hours you couldn’t scout a lesbian? You see how short her nails are in all her videos? Why do you think that is? Who fucked up?
Brandon Staley +650
I’m sorry Staley I know you’re married but Lizzy’s in San Diego. According to this NFL Connunications list the Chargers are the only team with a camp in San Diego. It could be another California coach, I suppose, but I’m a Rams fan. I’m not throwing rocks at my throne. Besides, after Staley left the Rams in 2021 it’s clear that he’s ready to leave a good thing if he’s promised to be surrounded by young upcoming talent.
Kliff Kingsbury +150
Fun fact, Kliff Kingsbury is the only NFL head coach who’s not married. I guess it’s a political thing like the how they prefer the president to be a family man/woman. But McVay’s first trophy wasn’t a wife but a Lombardi. Granted Kingsbury has a Instagram model girlfriend with 3M followers. Why would he go for a Tik Toker with a measly 13.4k? Then again….
Lane Kiffin -110
This is who it was. Poor girl has no idea that Lane is a college coach, not NFL. Got her wires crossed. Is it a coincidence that two of the unsigned Top 150 recruits left are about an hour and a half drive from San Diego? I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe in Joey Freshwater. Lane’s been divorced since 2016 and if even half the stories about him are true, then I wouldn’t put it past him believing he could pull a lesbian that’s 2k miles away.
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