Move over Dos Equis, you silver fox, there’s a new world’s most interesting man in town. Shkreli is most known for making headlines for charging dying people a million dollars for twenty dollar medication. That and his love for the Wu Tang Clan. Never said he was a good guy, but no doubt intriguing.
Since doing a little stint in prison, Marty has gone off the rails. Last I spoke of him I wrote a blog on his predictions for the future of 100+ years. Where he details everything from teleportation and the death of sports to when we’re gonna start banging robots. Then that interview came out of the Bloomberg journalist who fell in love with Martin after covering his trial. Spoiler alert: she quit her job, left her husband, and froze her eggs to wait for Shkreli to get out of the clink. I mean, what the fuck is going on with this guy?
Which brings me to this Tik Tok that I saw today.
So Martin Shkreli had adopted the nickname “maricon” in prison. After hearing it repeatedly from the Spanish speaking inmates he asked Lolo, his hired lookout, what it meant. Lolo told him it meant “brave warrior” and Martin took to telling people “I’m The biggest baddest maricon in this place!” If the video is to believed, he even got “EGM” tattooed on his chest for “El Grande Maricon”.
For those of you who’ve never worked in a kitchen, maricon is Spanish for the derogatory “f word” for gay people. If Martin is a homosexual, good for him, I totally support him. Even though Pride Month literally just ended I’m still an ally. However, given that he’s in a relationship with a woman I don’t believe he is. Stolen valor much? So he’s threatening dangerous criminals by basically calling himself “The Big Homo” while thinking it means “The Big Brave Warrior” in Michael Scott-esque fashion which is undoubtedly hysterical.
But then I started thinking how there’s just no way. Martin Shkreli spent his time in prison employing inmates, teaching crypto classes, and researching AI. Someone HAD to have told him that he’s not saying what he thinks he’s saying. All the guy does is research, you’re telling me he’s not fact-checking the only definition he was given for what he was about to tattoo on his chest?
Which brought me to an unsettling revelation. Is Martin Shkreli a comedic genius? He didn’t even show a hint of letting on that he was in on the joke in that Tik Tok video. No smirk, not stutter, just stone face. Did he make the whole thing up because he knew it was hilarious? Self-deprecating humor that makes him look like a gullible idiot while contrasting it as a tough guy act? Martin Shkreli can’t be hilarious, can he?
I watched it again to make sure it wasn’t a deep fake. That’d be ironic if the joke was on me the whole time. Why has Martin Shkreli set up camp in my brain? I’m over-analyzing this. I need to rid myself of this Martin possibility since he’s someone the American people have agreed not to enjoy. But, and I’d never thought I’d say this, I can’t wait to see what Martin Shkreli comes up with next.
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