You’ve having an internal struggle on whether or not you really want to stop at McDonald’s drive-thru for ice cream late at night. You know you shouldn’t but it’s been awhile. Finally you give up. It feels dirty, but you’re too committed to turn back now. You let out a sigh and order a McFlurry with M&Ms, “Ice cream machines not working.”
We’ve all wanted to choke a McDonald’s employee through the window when we’ve heard that. You still get all the shame of ordering with none of the benefits. Plus we all know it’s a crock of shit but you can’t exactly respond “No it’s not.” It’s a waste of shame.
Now, thanks to a company called Kytch, we have concrete proof that Big Ron’s has been lying to us. Kytch designed software to remotely run diagnostics and fix McDonald’s machines without having to be on site. Good news, right? Wrong, McDonald’s refuses to use Kytch’s devices.
Meet our antogonist of this tale, Taylor Company. I don’t know what sort of dirt Taylor has on Ronnie, but they’ve monopolized the ice cream machines. The company sells McDonald’s the machines for a cool 18k and has convinced them that they cannot be fixed without a Taylor-certified technician. Unless there’s a million of these technicians, they won’t have enough employees to cover our needs.
Another interesting tidbit in McDonald’s favor is that the machines need to be cleaned every two weeks. In order to properly clean the machine you have to completely break it down, clean it, then reassemble the entire thing. Apparently we have a bunch of MacGyvers manning our drive-thrus. I’ll be honest, if I had arches on my hat and a bunch of twerps rolled in at 1:00am ordering four different shakes and I knew I had to break down and reassemble just to serve them? I’d tell them to fuck right off too. So instead they just say it’s broken.
So where do we go from here? Apparently Taylor and McDonald’s tried stealing a Kytch device in order to reverse engineer their technology. In late July, a California judge issued a restraining order in favor of Kytch and demanded that any technology and software stolen by McDonald’s or Taylor Company be returned.
So it would seem Kytch has them by the balls. It appears they’re in the midst of a “let’s make a deal” showdown. With any luck, this will all be settled just in time for Shamrock Shake season.
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