Do Aliens Play Sports?

The first Olympic Games were held in Ancient Greece over a millennia ago. China used to play soccer with dead people’s heads and Mexico had that sideways basketball game they play in El Dorado. None of these empires crossed paths, yet they all had their own form of sports entertainment. So sports seems to be a natural step in the civilization process. If aliens conquered interstellar travel its fair to assume their civilized. Which means it’s fair to assume they have sports. 

I’m not a big alien invasion guy, but rather an alien intergration guy. I love sci-fi stories that show the clashing of human and alien cultures on their way to harmonizing a peaceful coexistence. These are the thoughts that keep me up at night. One way we as humans all come together despite our differences in region or culture is through sports. So why can’t that ring true for interspecies relationships?

Well, there could be issues. Let’s say humans wanted to play in alien leagues. We might not have the tech-savy knowledge to keep up. Or even worse, we may not be genetically inclined enough to hold our own. If Space Jan was any precedent, Michael Jordan had to PED his teammates and literally stretch his own arm 20 feet just to avoid an ass whooping by the Monstars. 

What if the aliens wanted to join our professional leagues? We don’t know if they have telekinetic powers or super strength. Can you imagine The Predator shooting the C Gap? Quarterbacks would lose their skulls. But would it be speciest to exclude them? I don’t know. Their physical superiority could wipe out every league as we know it. 

But maybe not. They could be just like us, humanoid even. People would be skeptical of letting aliens join the NFL, MLB, NBA, and NHL. But maybe a hero would come along. A Jackie Robinson of aliens, to break the species barrier. And we’d all have something to talk about at the local space cantina and live happily ever after. 

More sports is always the answer if the question is ever asked. Picture how fun it would be betting on alien’s sports not knowing what the fuck is going on. Let’s just hope that colonizing planets and enslaving the inhabiting species isn’t their planetary pastime.